Let's get right into it;
1. You come first.
You are your number one priority, no matter what anyone else says. You need you more than you need them, trust me. Even if your partner is just as giving and loving as you are, you always need to take care of yourself. If you don't take care of you first, nobody will!
Sometimes, people are really good at taking and if you let them you will slowly become a host for parasites to feast on.
You also have to take a good care of your mental health. It is when you are healthy and your Sanity is in check that you can help someone else. Don't stay in a toxic relationship because of what people will say. Remember that if anything happens to you today, the same people who claimed they can't leave without you will move on the instant you are gone.
2. Be Yourself!
One of the ultimate red flag in a relationship is when you can't be yourself around your partner, you always have to fake it, probably to meet his/her standards or what not!
Anybody that you can be yourself around, is not worth it!
Unless you know that the character you are trying to hide is toxic and can damage their mental health, the solution is to FIX IT not FAKE IT!
Don't follow the trend of making it till you fake. One of the reasons why relationships most especially marriage break up is because people realized that their partner is different from who they fell in love with.
Say for example, if your partner likes religious women and you are not really the religious type but in order not to lose them, you decide to fake it. Know this, they will find out no matter how smart you want to claim to be!
3. Your partner is not a mind-reader!
Don't expect your partner to read your mind. You are hurting? SAY IT!
They are causing you pain? TELL THEM!
You expect or need something from them? TALK TO THEM!
Don't go around the house been moody and bringing bad vibes with the mindset of they are suppose to know. NO! they are not.
And remember COMMUNICATION IS KEY!
If you've communicated with your partner about your needs and wants and they seem not to be listening, then maybe it's not meant to be.
4. Compromise is a two-way street.
In as much as you're willing and open to compromise, your partner should be as well. Don't be the only person giving things up because sacrifices are very different than compromises and if one party is the one making the sacrifices, it might end in tears.
Remember, a compromise is when both parties are satisfied, not just one. It is when both parties get what neither of them wanted. Make sure your happiness and comfort are considered in all situations.
If one side of the party feels like they are giving much more than they are getting back, it makes they question your relationship because nobody wants to feel used. Whether you and your partner seems to have a different opinion or option about an idea, try the use of comprise and see how that will work out.
5. Fighting is never the solution, DISCUSS!!!
You need to realize that fighting and disagreement among couple is normal but how you handle the conflict is what matters. Throwing tantrums and engaging in meaningless exchange of words, will do more damage than good and remember, once something hurtful is said you can never take it back.
When you take the time to talk things out, you have the opportunity to really hear what your partner is saying. And on the flip side, this allows you to share your feelings and thought process.
6. You deserve to be treated well!
You are an amazing, kind, loving person. Don't ever let your partner put you down or harm you.!
A partner is supposed to make you want to be a better person, rather than make you feel like the scum of the earth. It's not OK. Do not accept this type of behavior.
Also learn to recognize a narcissist, a narcissist is a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves. They often manipulate their partner into thinking the problem in the relationship is you and not them. Never let anyone MANIPULATE you into thinking are the problem.
7. Love is Beautiful! Obsession is Unhealthy!
Don’t cling to a sinking ship. It is good to be in love with someone but don’t ever FORCE people to love you. If you find yourself enamored with a person who doesn’t return your feelings, it’s best to move on. And if you find yourself in a relationship where there is a clear imbalance in level of commitment or you’re confused as to whether you’re in a relationship or a situation-ship, then you might have a problem. You need to remember that human beings are naturally hunters, we go after what we really want.
Bonus:
If are with someone and they say Let’s just go with the flow, let’s just cruise or Let’s vibe, that person is about to waste your time!!!
I hope you enjoyed reading it. Connect with me on I.G and twitter @bisola_amuda.
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